5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Put Anyone On A Pedestal

We’ve probably all put someone on a pedestal at some point in our lives. Here are five reasons why we shouldn’t do it.

It is depersonalizing. We make the person out to be the person that we wish them to be and don’t recognize the real person. We cannot truly connect with a person when we idealize them. We diminish ourselves by idealizing another, and they are diminished because we see them as something that they are not. Rod Arters on his website says,

To put someone on a pedestal, alternatively, means that one life has been diminished in favour of another life.

It sets them up for failure and then we may judge them and get angry at them for not behaving in the way that we have imagined that they should. Once they realise that they are on a pedestal it is difficult to get down.

The only way off is to fall.  The higher the pedestal, the harder the fall.  The harder the fall, the greater the damage.

It isn’t fair to them. Nobody can live up to our image of them. It makes love conditional by telling the person that this is what we expect of them.

It displays unhealthy emotional needs

The website, the golden age of gaia says,

We put people on pedestals for various reasons, almost all relating to our own wants and needs.

It continues,

It demeans the person raising the other up. It promotes codependency and dysfunctionality. It erects a barrier between the one being raised and the one doing the raising. It deprives the one being raised of choice, freedom, growth, and contact. In order to place another above us, we have to consider ourselves as beneath them.

It can be detrimental to the emotional health of the one on the pedestal.

It pressurizes them into behaving in a particular way just to maintain their position.

…adulation carries a price in deference. It corrodes one’s better sense of one’s self and leaves one open to arrogance, conceit and all manner of difficult psychological conditions.

It means that you are living your own life in the shadow of another.

Dan Reveal, in an article entitled, How to Resist Putting Someone on a Pedestal, says,

To put someone on a pedestal, alternatively, means that one life has been diminished in favour of another life.

 

Gloria Steinem, is quoted on Brainyquote.com as having said,

A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space.